Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Positively Sinful

Now, anybody who is part of any Christian religion and has read the Bible knows that it tells us that it's probably a good idea not to sin. Sinning is always bad, just ask Sodom and Gomorrah... Oh, wait! You can't. They done got smote. Case in point.
Anyway, we've always been told not to sin, but how can you not do something unless you know what it entails? Isn't there some sort of visual aid that can show us what sinning is so that we can avoid doing it? We got nothing to go on!
Have no fear. While perusing a children's book about Jonah and the Whale, I found this depiction of the sinful city of Ninevah, doing what sinful cities do best: sinning.
This is quite possibly the best picture I've ever seen, and definitely the best depiction ever of sin in its natural habitat.
Click on the picture to enlarge it. I promise you, it's worth it. Your eternal soul is in the balance here!

So yes... This is what sinning looks like. Don't do it.

Be thankful. I have just saved you from sinking into the black abyss of sin by taking part in such depraved activities as:
drinking from jeweled cups,

grinning fiendishly,

hitting donkeys with a stick,

having breasts,

cheering out of windows,

wearing magenta,

looking slyly over your shoulder,

holding raves,

or any number of other unspeakable acts that are taking place in this cesspool of licentiousness and degradation.

Thank heavens for illustrated bible stories, that's all I can say. Otherwise we might have found ourselves on the receiving end of a good smiting.

Edit: Okay, I wasn't going to include this, but every time I see the picture it gets harder to overlook. Judging by the looks on the faces of the guy in magenta and the one behind him, there is almost definitely some sodomy going on... There, I said it. Elephant's out of the room.
I'm not going to say anything else, lest it be in horrible taste.


Beth said...

Okay, Amy and I are laughing fiendishly about this one. You are amazing. :D

Jessica Grosland said...

I have hereby decided that you are hopelessly sinful, Erin. As a close friend, I have witnessed your many instances of grinning fiendishly, having breasts, cheering out of windows, and looking slyly over your shoulder. It is apparent that your soul is beyond saving, and BYU will be contacting your shortly to ask for your withdrawal from its fair campus. I suggest you move to Michigan.

The Erin said...

Curses! You're right! I'm beyond hope!!
Well... I guess I can always run away and start a new life under the sea.

Meg said...

I am being a cheeky English major. You used a semicolon wrong in the third paragraph. Directly before the last word ("sinning"), it should be colon, not a semicolon. I tell you this in love and the hopes that one day you will be able to use a semicolon correctly. (Remember that you yourself told me that you were horrible with semicolons. This is me trying to help you and welcome you into the wonderful world of the semicolon. Don't hate me. Or judge my English nerdiness.)