Monday, March 22, 2010

Further research has uncovered --

I know I'm kind of beating a dead horse, but after my post yesterday about the Twilight graphic novel in addition to my recent sighting of this heinous atrocity at the local Wal Mart, I decided to take a look into what other sort of horrible things are being marketed to Twilight fans....
and boy did I hit the jackpot. Here are just a few delights that I found:

My Mommy is a Bella... really? What... is that even supposed to mean?

Y'know... cause who DOESN'T want Edward on their socks? I mean, really!

This is supposedly a replica of Bella's wedding ring... I don't know about all of you, but I think this mess is hideous, and if any dude tried to get it to slide with me, I'd send him packing. I don't care how sparkly he is.

Wait... what??? Let me get this straight... you ACTUALLY made a silhouette of Edward to put on your wall so that in the dark of the night you can feel like he's actually standing there watching you sleep... D:

And Edward shower curtain. No, really.


Whoever is responsible for this should be put to death immediately.
If I were given the chance to go back in time and prevent one thing from happening, this would be pretty high on the list of candidates. What's even worse is what's on the INSIDE... I'm not even going to go into that. Instead I'm going to go cry myself to sleep.

Of course, these are the tame ones, there were a lot of other horrible things that I'm not even going to show here (the tamest of which being a FELT REPLICA OF BELLA'S UTERUS with her demon fetus inside) but I assure you, there is fuel enough to power my nightmares for a LONG time.
here is a list I found of the top thirty most disturbing Twilight products if you're feeling brave, but consider yourself warned... a few of these things are absolutely NSFW (Not Safe for Work)
I am never recovering from some of this. Ever.

Sweet mercy, I need to go take a shower now... but I seem to have developed a spontaneous, crippling fear of shower curtains.


Anonymous said...

Woah... did you stay up JUST so you could post this on Monday? :P Jk, jk. Sick. I mean... ugh. Worst way to start my morning. WHY America? Why?

I think... Twilight may just be a secret combination... I mean, look at the requirements of secret combinations!

Jessica Grosland said...

I like the wall-stick-on Stalker and the shower curtain best. But I'm afraid my socks are cooler. They have Captain Jack Sparrow on them.

The Erin said...

Naw, I just figured I'd finish it and by the time I did I realized it was past midnight and I didn't care anymore, so I just posted it.

Yeah, Jack Sparrow socks pretty much trump anything else, hands down.

Steph-a-Neph said...

Wow. Just, wow. I am horrified.

Mrs. Darcy said... ...jonas. That is...beyond words, my mind just exploded and fell out the side of my head

Jessica Grosland said...

Did you just use the Jonas Brothers as a curse word? I think I'm vomiting over here. (*looks down*) Yup, there's my spleen.

The Erin said...

Are you kidding? Oh my jonas is my favorite exclamation ever. It makes me laugh every time

misssrobin said...

You are seriously a glutton for punishment, aren't you? A bit of a masochist? It's like you have this really big bruise that hurts terribly and you keep touching it just to remind youreslf that it hurts.

Leave it alone already -- let yourself heal!

Meg said...

...Buh...guh...itsa...I am speechless. Edward wall silhouette? Why?! WHY?!!!!!!

Meg said...

I just went through the io9 gallery. I have seen, I cannot unsee it. Where's that brain bleach? Or something to gouge my eyes out with. Thor's hammer, the horror!

The Erin said...

I tell you... I am never sleeping again.