Here in the U.S. of A. there is one person that is possibly the most widely sought of anyone in the world. I'm willing to bet that you have spent at least some measure of your life looking for this man, and no matter how many times we find him, he always manages to hide again. We have followed him around the world, but somehow he never manages to stay found. Somehow, wherever he goes, he always manages to keep everyone asking "Where's Waldo?"
That's right. This guy:
A tricky fellow indeed, but have any of us really ever stopped to question why we are searching for him in the first place? What has Waldo ever done to merit so many people looking for him? Come to think of it, I'm not even sure what Waldo does. He travels, and I'm sure there's some story behind it, but heck if anybody ever reads the little postcards up in the left corner of the page. As far as any of us are concerned, the books have no words; just a skinny nerd hiding among thousands and thousands of people in hundreds of locations. An ongoing game of extreme hide and seek. Even though we have absolutely no reason to look for him, he still hides and insists that we find him. Heck, sometimes he even has the audacity to make us track down his travel gear as well, or even his friends (Wenda, Wizard Whitebeard, and... the dog... which I'm sure has a name that starts with a 'W'.) And the saddest part is, we keep doing it! We keep looking for him even though we've never had any reason to. At least Carmen Sandiego is a wanted criminal so we have a reason to look for her, but, as far as I can tell, Waldo is just a traveling nerd.
Here's what I think:
Waldo is incredibly insecure and is desperate for attention. He's smart enough to know that most people will drive themselves mad in the name of a challenge, so he hides, and challenges us all to find him. We spend days foaming at the mouth in desperate search for him, our thoughts fixed upon only one thing: finding a striped dork. It's a foolproof way to get millions of people to think only about you, if only for a brief period. This attention-seeking behavior really seems to have gotten out of hand -- eating up all of Waldo's finances, and landing him in plenty of sticky situations -- but all attempts to help him overcome this have been in vain. His therapist has tried, but whenever it comes time for their appointment, Waldo is nowhere to be found, leaving only a note with a general location of where to find him. His case is pretty near hopeless; every time someone else starts looking for him, it reinforces his obsession, but nobody is ever going to stop looking for him because of their own selfish obsessions. Humans can't turn down a challenge.
Waldo is a very sick man, and you're just making it worse.
You should be ashamed of yourself.