Tuesday, August 3, 2010

How to Suceed in the Music Industry

I've been thinking lately about how Lady Gaga is just about the biggest thing since sliced bread right now (neurotic, sparkly bread,) and I got to wondering what makes her so successful. I mean, besides the fact that all her songs are infectious ear-worms, and she is pretty much the embodiment of every single shiny thing that has ever mesmerized you into becoming a drooling shell of an intelligent human for more than five minutes. I've been analyzing Lady Gaga's music videos, and I have been able to identify one specific formula that she follows pretty much every time. It goes a little something like this:

She writhes


She sparkles


And she makes out with a pile of gay men.


You got that? Writhe, sparkle, and make out with a bunch of gay dudes. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. PROFIT!

Brilliant! The secret to Lady Gaga's popularity, and it's so simple!
I finally understand the music industry now! All you have to do is those three things, and also pretend to sing (autotune can be your friend) and you're on your way to stardom.
Thanks Lady Gaga!



....
Actually... I think that may be why Twilight is so popular as well... Bella does each of those three things at least once throughout the series...
There you go, another mystery solved.

1 comment:

misssrobin said...

And so scientifically sound, as well.