A note to my charming neighbors

To the girls in the apartment upstairs,

I understand that you are a playful bunch; I can hear your late night parties that seem to involve nothing but stomping every Friday and Saturday evening. Be that as it may, I feel that it is my duty to address the girlish shrieking that I constantly hear from the stairwell as an issue that you might want to take into consideration. Fact is, hearing somebody scream bloody murder out of the blue any time after dark, whether you're playing or not, puts everybody on edge, but there comes a certain point that we become used to it and stop reacting. You must realize that this means that when you actually get raped and murdered in the parking lot, NOBODY WILL HELP YOU. If you've ever heard of the boy who cried wolf, this is the same principle. As your concerned and disgruntled neighbor, I urge please consider this the next time you feel the need to scream at the top of your lungs late at night.

Best wishes,
Erin from downstairs