Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Relative Grace

I came to an important realization today. It was caused mostly by a very spectacular fall that I performed for two members of the grounds crew on an icy hill earlier today.
In general I am not too clumsy of an individual(no, really!) and I have successfully walked down the hill in question every day for the past week on my way to the bus without falling down. Furthermore, I've never fallen down a flight of stairs unless somebody has been there to witness, and the only truly grand spills I've taken have been in the presence of company. This being the case, assuming I'm not the only one who has experienced this, I would like to propose a theory simply called "the Relative Theory of Clumsiness." It goes a little something like this:
In any situation wherein the potential for clumsiness is immediately present, the likelihood that an individual will fall, stumble, slip, or trip is directly proportional to either a) the presence of another individual(s) or b) the presence of a video recording device.

Note that the subject is able to Travel from Point A to Point B without difficulty.
Now add a couple witnesses :

This likelihood is also inversely proportional to the level of familiarity between the subject and the witness(es):

and directly proportional to the amount of awkwardness likely to be caused by any clumsiness:

Anyway, as theories go, it's still a bit rough, but I think I may definitely be on to something.

If nothing else, it's a good solution to the great American problem of how to blame all our problems on everybody else, and should at least give you something to think about the next time you're tumbling down a flight of stairs in front of several onlookers.

Tread lightly now, readers.


Jessica Grosland said...

I think this is a brilliant theory and I like the diagrams. :)

Beth said...

Seriously. Erin, you should do this for a living.

The Erin said...

XD Thanks guys, I'm glad you two support my highly logical scientific conclusions. I should definitely be published for my brilliance *snerk*

Mrs. Darcy said...

Very nice ^_^