Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Inspirational Idiocy

I've been noticing lately that life has this funny way of reminding me that I'm a moron whenever I get to feeling a bit too confident. I get it; everybody needs to be shot down every once in a while to keep themselves humble, but I'm pretty sure that I achieved my magnum opus of stupid this morning when I went to school.

I recently got a bike, the purpose of which being to make it so that I don't have to scale fences and traverse rocky terrain in order to make it to the inconveniently placed bus stop in time (provided the bus doesn't arrive early.) I've been having a bit of trouble with it, however. Between undeveloped biking muscles, springtime allergies, undernourishment, and perpetually weak knees, I've been struggling quite a bit with the hills that I have to ride up whether I'm going to school or riding home (In related news, I now understand what my dad meant by "uphill both ways.") I've been exploring roundabout ways that will help me avoid the worst of the inclines, but those do take a fair amount of time more than the direct route, and this morning I found myself very short on time as I left the house to go to my morning class. I knew I was going to have to take on the big hill leading up to campus if I was going to make it, but I was nervous because the last time I had tried it, my lungs almost exploded and I had to get off and walk. However, I remembered something I had heard from a distant acquaintance who just returned from a two year excursion to Taiwan:
I don't remember what he said, but it was in Mandarin and I'm pretty sure it meant something encouraging like "You can do it" or whatever....
Anyway, I thought about that as a I neared the hill and I worked up my resolve that I was going to make it all the way to the top. My legs strained as the incline steepened and my head began to pound, but I was determined to make it, and I kept my eyes fixed squarely on my goal. As I focused, I noticed that I was feeling lighter than ever, and that the ride up the hill was feeling much easier than it had before. I pressed myself as hard as I could go, straining and sweating, the scenery swirling around me as I became dizzy from exertion, but still feeling like a huge weight was missing from my shoulders, and I knew I could do it. I triumphantly broke level at the top of the hill and continued to pedal deliriously until I reached the bike rack, where I collapsed, smiling victoriously...

.......

A few minutes later as I composed myself and headed to class, I realized that I had left the house without my backpack...
Needless to say, my high didn't last for too long.

It's okay, I didn't really need it, it just means I've completely outdone myself on the stupid once again. This is definitely my greatest masterpiece.



At least until tomorrow when I manage to leave without my pants.
Mark my words, it'll happen; this is me we're talking about.

3 comments:

Meg said...

Bahahaha. Don't worry, it's not that stupid. I don't know how many times I've managed to leave my keys and/or wallet in my apartment. Not to mention the fact that I lost a library book AFTER I FINISHED IT. As in, I was no longer carrying it around to places, when I might conceivably leave it somewhere. I had finished it and left it sitting around my room (which was pretty tiny) and then couldn't remember where I put it. I think it was two or three months before I found it again.

And hey, you made it up that hill. Now you just have to rig your backpack with a homing hover device and it will come when you call and you never have to get up the hill with a backpack weighing you down.

Also, the word verification thingy says "poles." I find this amusing.

The Erin said...

This is true, but keys and wallet are small. I have no idea how I managed to get out the door and not notice that I was missing a good thirty pounds.

misssrobin said...

Just wait until you're a mother; then you'll learn what stupid really is. Like the time I had Jessi trying to jog off an injury on the sidelines of her soccer game. Turns out her foot was broken.

And she now has her Book of Mormon name. It's Jessiancumer.