Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"You missed our anniversary to save a drowning child?!!? You jerk!"

I do not profess to be an avid reader of superhero comics, or even a wide partaker in any aspect of the superhero genre, really, but from my outsider perspective (which may not be completely accurate) I've noticed something particularly troubling. This problem can be summed up in two words: Superheros' girlfriends.
Not the ones that are unaware of the fact that their beau is a superhero, but the ones who DO know and STILL get their panties in a knot when their superpowered honey forgets/misses/ruins X event because he was saving a bus full of puppies and orphans from careening off a cliff. What is the matter with these women?! Do they really expect that the people will conveniently stop falling into life-threatening situations just because their man promised to meet them for dinner that night? These gals really need to start getting their priorities straight. And how is it that these fine, upstanding, superheros keep landing girls who completely flip one just because their man has more important things to do than attend their mothers' tupperware party? I mean, seriously! Firefighters' wives don't pitch a fit when their hubbies get called out to pull somebody's grandmother out of a flaming building on their anniversary, I don't see why it should be any different for superheros.

If I ever date a superhero, he has my blessing to miss my birthday if he's rescuing civilians from being vaporized by the blasts from his arch-nemesis' laser cannons. He just has to text me "Hey, bb. Prof. Malaise is ttly pwning the biz. district. Can't make ur bday. sry! :( cu l8tr?" and I will understand.

Really now, gals, priorities...


Meg said...

But then it wouldn't be interesting! And there are a couple who are cool (granted, the only one that comes to mind is Lois Lane). And it would kind of suck to always be put on the back burner. Understandable, but sucky. You should really read Astro City, especially the first volume, Life in the Big City. It has a story about the Samaritan, who is like Superman but so much better. He isn't selfish like Superman (I know this sounds crazy, but it's true. He has a whole secret identity so he can live a normal life. Think of all the people he isn't saving when he's Clark Kent.) It shows the Samaritan's typical day, which is pretty much absolutely packed with saving people, so much so that he has no life. He has a secret ID, but only for getting info and stuff. The guys amazing. Check it out. (A later volume, Confession, is also amazing and made me cry.)

misssrobin said...

I'm totally behind you on this.

But when he texts me with his excuse, I'd prefer that he use whole words and actual grammar. That will be our secret code that shows he loves me while he's saving the world.

The Erin said...

I dunno, I think chatspeak is hilarious; if his saving the world were summed up like that, no matter how annoyed I was, I'd be able to laugh it off.
Mind you, I only appreciate chatspeak from people who are using it in order to make fun of it. My sister and I do it all the time.