Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Photogenic Phlebotomy

I gave blood today. Partially for the snacks, partially because I like the color of blood, but mostly because I'm a freaking saint. Plus it makes me feel totally hardcore, especially cause I bleed well and I don't get lightheaded or flinch at the needle; when everybody else is turning white and passing the heck out, I can just leap out of my chair and be on my merry way. It's like I just took a bullet then shrugged it off, like "What, that? That was nothing. Just lost a pint of blood, it's no problem." And then I pick up my bazooka and go back to battling velociraptors, then later I go home and cauterize the wound myself with a car cigarette lighter.... cause I'm hardcore! ... But I digress.
Anyhoo, today, I noticed that almost all the phlebotomists there were guys, and that every single one of them looked like a model for GQ. Usually when I give blood there's maybe one dude like that in the whole group, but this time it was all of them. I am highly suspicious... It makes me wonder just what they're trying to pull...Seems like some sort of conspiracy to me.
Am I complaining that the guys taking blood were all ludicrously attractive? Of course not. I'm just always suspicious of sexy phlebotomists because the only other ridiculously attractive beings who make it a common practice to take blood from people are vampires. It'd be a pretty easy way to lay low if they worked at a blood drive, that's all I'm sayin'... Highly suspect, particularly now that they're showing up en masse. I'm onto their little game. I know they're up to something...
Or that could just be the blood loss speaking... Either way, I'm out. Toodles!

8 comments:

Adam James McLain said...

If the phlebotomists were vampires, how could they have their photo taken? This we must ponder... unless I have my vampire lore messed up, but, they can't get photos taken, can they?

The Erin said...

Depends on the lore. If you think about it, it doesn't make sense for them to NOT show up... I mean, they're basically just a hollowed out human. You can take a picture of a corpse, can't you? Same thing with vampires, they're still made of solid matter, they're just missing a soul or two...

Adam James McLain said...

Oh, well, that actually makes perfect sense! :)

Meg said...

Speaking of the undead at blood drives...the last time I gave blood, I apparently ran dry. The blood flow stopped. So, I may be a zombie. I would say vampire, but I do not burst into flames in sunlight and I am not insanely attractive. That being said, I have yet to have a craving for brains. Although now that I mention it...

The Erin said...

Give in to it, Meg. You can be the initiator of the zombie apocalypse! That'd be awesome!

Jessica Grosland said...

I ALWAYS have an incredibly attractive male phlebotomist. And through a combination of his sexiness and my sense of vulnerability (what with my life-source flowing out of my veins) I always fall madly in love with him. And they're always so chatty and full of banter. Geez, I can't handle this. I'm getting hot just thinking about it.

Thanks a lot Erin.

The Erin said...

I have the same problem, which is why I brought it up. Speaking of which, remember that hot phlebotomist that took our blood last year? His name was Jaron, and it was awesome cause it's like our two names put together... anyway, he was there yesterday, but I didn't say anything to him cause i felt dumb...

Jessica Grosland said...

Really? You saw him a second time? I didn't think those guys were allowed to exist for more than one blood drive!

(*stares in wonder*)

You learn something new every day.