Tuesday, January 26, 2010

If I Were a Movie

Have you ever had a dream that plays out like a movie with all the typical story elements, plot twists, and so forth? Has your movie dream ever been a horror movie? Mine was the other night, which is strange because usually my dreams don't have plots, but this one did. Of course, there was one main difference with mine that either serves as a sad testament to my blandness, or as an indicator of my intelligence and foresight. Personally, I tend to believe the former, but I digress. So, it seems that, in this dream, I was on my way to a piano lesson taught by an old woman in a wheelchair who lived in a large creepy old house and didn't talk or go outside very much. As there was no front door on the house (or there was, it just required a lot of scaling of house siding that I wasn't really keen on doing) I went around to the side door and found that it had been, not kicked, not smashed, but HATCHETED open! I instantly became wary and I looked past the wrecked door into the room beyond, which was piled so high with junk that I couldn't really see anything. It was at this time that two other girls came along and said that they were students of this woman too and were really worried because she wasn't answering her phone. It was dark, and we all had flashlights, and the two girls said that we should go inside the house and look for her -- typical horror movie setup. However, it was at this point that, instead of reluctantly agreeing and following them inside as movie lore would dictate, I gave them a patronizing look and said something to the effect of "What? No! That would be the stupid thing to do! We're going to call the police and wait for them out here." I then proceeded to spend the rest of the dream preventing people from going into the house while we waited for the police.
Of course, this is the way I would do it if this actually happened in real life. Heck if I lose out on an adventure, I'm not about to subject myself to the sight of the old lady's dismembered corpse stuffed in a wooden trunk while I wait to be massacred by a hatchet-wielding psycho. Nuts to that! Still, I'd have thought that in my dreams I'd be at least a bit more adventurous and impulsive, resulting in a decently entertaining movie dream, but apparently this is not the case. Nice to know my dreams are so honest about my personality, but since dreams with plots are so rare for me, it would be nice to have a little excitement in there that doesn't involve singing naked for a full opera house or all my teeth falling out....
I mean, really! I didn't even know it was actually possible to bore yourself awake! Heaven help me if my blandness now follows me into my dreams.

Like alcohol and heavy machinery, jelly beans and ketchup, or Hannah Montana and feature-length movies, reality and dreams are two things that, if you can avoid it, you should definitely never mix, lest you be very VERY sad.


Jessica Grosland said...

LOL. That is so typical of you, Erin. Need I remind you that in one of MY dreams, you and I most intelligently consumed drinks offered to us by questionable men, while fully realizing that said drinks probably contained some sort of date-rape drug?

You're apparently a lot more fun in MY dreams. Congratulations on not getting killed, though. That's always nice. I don't think it'll make the Oscars, however.

The Erin said...

Well, as long as I'm fun in your dreams I guess I'm not hopeless. Good to know :D.

Steph-a-Neph said...

I hate to break it to you dear, but it would seem as though you are rather bland...:P
Also, I don't really dream and remember it, but the other night I had a dream where Naveen and this guy from where I used to live were fighting over my love, and it rather followed the same plot as a movie I had watched with my mom on Lifetime Movie Network a few days previous. Needless to say, I didn't end up with either of them, as *tear* reality burst forth and awakened me. The end.
also, the word verification word of this post is "unders" lol. nice.