Friday, September 17, 2010

Exclusive News

You know how at the end of news reports when the newscasters sign off, the lights dim and the camera zooms out and the anchors turn to each other and start talking about things you can't hear? I hate that part cause they're totally shutting me out of the conversation. It makes me feel like they're talking about me or something...

This is how I imagine the conversation at the end of a news report to go:
"Hey, Stu, do you think those idiots bought it?"
"They always do, Tracy. And now we can talk about them all we want right in front of their faces and they wont even hear us."
"Suckers. Let's go egg all of their houses tonight."
"We can take the news-copter."

I just can't trust them when they do that. It's not like there's any way they could be talking about anything benign, because we can't hear them... Because of those secret ending conversations, I am under the distinct impression that news anchors really do know everything, but they refuse to tell it to us because they want all the power for themselves.
Those jerks.


misssrobin said...

Has anyone ever accused you of maybe being just the tiniest bit paranoid?

And in your little fantasy world is the news-copter black and circling?

Just wondering.

Meg said...

You're not paranoid if there really are people out to get you...

The Erin said...

Naw, I just get a kick out of coming to increasingly outrageous conclusions that "expose" malicious intent in perfectly normal, benign things. Mostly because my life is more boring than my mind, so I have to compensate by making up my own excitement.

Also, the word verification is "skedab" which needs to be put into the dictionary immediately.